Excerpts from "Domefail"
Patrick Lucy

If enough construction workers were arrayed on the seabed in a wide fanlike pattern they might make off with the methane crystals, exploding one by one to the surface, or they might arrange themselves into intelligible shapes to communicate the situation in a responsible, well-coordinated fashion.
We'd need at least a hundred and fifty down there to spell legibly.

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We practiced safe sex that was our practice.

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At the edge of the platform a man with a very long arm reaches into the sea with a wrench his pants are just low enough you can see the top of his butt this excites a few of the men and women at home who interview him during his break he says, "this job's like blind surgery, but" and he smokes a cigarette! he is hot it's a real problem in this context.

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The British arrive apologetic and in the mood and we are too house-poor to say no.

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Members of congress began swimming down to inspect the oil leak for themselves this Tuesday. Aides to Senator John McCain, R-Az, credit the former presidential nominee with the idea, saying he "double-dared" Sen. John Barrasso, R-Wyo, to "touch the bottom."
"It's really a savvy political move," added one beltway pundit, "the American people want a proactive response, they want their reps to take action -- that's exactly what the republican delegation did during their visit. This wasn't just another political photo-op."
Upon returning to the surface, the delegation had to be scrubbed clean by volunteers from the Audubon Society before being released back to the senate. "The poor things," said one volunteer, "they struggled at first, but then their eyes just kind of rolled back into their heads and they relaxed. I think they knew we were trying to help them."

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