Davy isn't really there. Davy is gone, so gone. Davy has things wrong
on the outside, inside, all sides, gone. Davy doesn't know. Davy
doesn't know much about anything. Doesn't know. That's me, this is me,
I am dead, dead Davy. I am the lucky one, long gone, the unlucky one
because I was never really alive. They said Goodbye Davy, can you say
goodbye? No you can't. No. Nobody listened to Davy when I was still
there, nobody listened to me, no. Davy. Me. Retard, retard, Davy why
are you such a retard. Davy doesn't know. Davy wasn't ever really
there. Never really alive. Never there, No.
Davy is gone and I miss them, miss them, miss them. What happened to
them? I happened to them. Davy doesn't know where he's gone to.
Retard. Stuck in this place without them. Miss them. Davy misses
Clarence (daddy) showing how to make a fist. Davy misses Clarence and
Josephine (daddy, mommy, parents) loving me, feeling sorry. Davy
misses Davy alive, never dead, never. Never alive. Never really there.
Davy misses Sonia (sister) petting me like the furry pet we had once,
but not for long, because it went somewhere else. The sky, The sky.
They said. Somewhere else. They said the sky is what heaven's like. A
dog they said. It was a dog and it went away, somewhere else. But
where am I? Where is Davy? This is not heaven. Miss them.
Count Davy, Sing Davy, Climb Davy, Sculpt Davy, Play Play Play the
music Davy it's really not so hard if you really try. Move your
fingers this way. Nod your head this way, can you hear me? Show me
that you understand. Show me what you hear. You can't hear me? No? You
never could. Retard, retard, Davy doesn't know. Davy play your music,
pray your prayer. Davy what color? Davy stay in the lines. Pay
attention why don't you, look me in the goddamn eyes why don't you.
This is how you lip a song. This is how you love a woman. This is how
to be a man one day and I know you can. You can, you can. Can you hear
me? You can. Davy wasn't ever there.
I can't see them. Never could, never could. Not the right way. Never
could. Davy is gone, so gone. Do they miss me? Never could tell. What
happened to them? I happened to them. This is me. Davy. I.
It was the case that I will want. Davy will want. Davy wanted love.
All Davy wants was to be loved in the right way. Davy remembers,
remembers hands cupping his chin. Look this way. Look at me. Why can't
he look at me? What's wrong with Davy, our Davy? Davy remembers home
before the white. Home with his dead pictures on the wall. Home
smelled like violin sound. They kissed me on the picture frames, wiped
the lips away, kissed, kissed, kissed. Wiped it all away. Other people
that were not They would come to this home. My home, our home. And
daddy, mommy, parents, sister point at me in the frames and said Davy,
this is our Davy. Davy can't come out of his room right now but this
is him. Isn't he something? Just look at him. Our Davy. Kiss, Kiss.
Wipe it all away.
Davy stays on the ground then. Davy didn't walk, didn't stand. Davy
stayed on the ground and I looked at feet. Davy walked on my hands and
knees, they called them. These are your knees, your knees. These are
your hands and they aren't for tasting. Get your hands out of your
mouth, this is your mouth and your mouth is for breathing. Your mouth
is for talking to me, telling me, kissing me, your hands are for
praying. Your mouth is to stay alive. Your mouth will learn how to
move the right way, just let it. You must leave it open, your mouth,
your mouth, so something will come out of it. So get your hands out of
there and walk on them instead. Walk this way, a little closer. Crawl
why don't you, closer now. Stay.
It was the case, it is the case that Davy wanted love.
Davy looked at feet. Davy looked at their feet (daddy, mommy, parents,
sister). Never could tell, never really there. Davy was never really
there, just stays on the ground looking at our feet. Davy on his hands
and knees looking at their feet. Stepping, stepping, stepping. The
feet, they stepped naked and they stepped with Shoes, they called
them, These are Shoes for Feet, Don't wear them on your hands. They
stepped on Davy's toys. They stepped on newspaper, fallen. They
stepped on a Thermometer, they called it, and it made red. They
stepped on broken sharp pieces and it made the same red. Red, Red. Now
I'm in white. They stepped on the tail from the back of the dog that
went somewhere else. They stepped on a Mouse, they called it. Bad, bad
thing, It's a good thing we stepped. They stepped on Davy's finger
once. They stepped on things that crawled down low. Kill it, Yuck,
Wrap it up in something. They stepped light steps and they stepped
loud, thomp, thomp sounds on top of things they stepped on. They
stepped on wood, on wet, on food. Once, Josephine (mommy) said to
Clarence (daddy) You're stepping all over me, but I didn't see it
happen. Never really there, never. That's Davy.
Hands and knees, hands and knees. Sonia went on hands and knees to
pick things up, to pick pieces up. Sonia went on hands and knees to
see me. Hands and knees to love me. Josephine went on hands and knees
to love Clarence. That's what she said. This is what it means to love,
pretend you didn't see that. Miss them, miss them. When you love
somebody you get on your hands and knees until they love you back.
Love the right way. Davy's dead. Davy isn't there anymore. Davy
remembers the day I went gone and they held each other close and said
it hurt so bad inside and fell to their hands and knees, hands and
knees, and said It's better this way, it's better. Don't look. Dead.
Where is Davy? Somewhere else. Davy doesn't know where he's gone to.
Retard, the retard. Somewhere else. I'm somewhere better. Davy is
covered in white. Davy never said goodbye, never could, never could.
They told me. Where am I? They told me. You told me. You told me
before I died, It's better this way, I promise. That's what you said.
I'm sorry, it's for the best, don't look. Miss them. Somewhere else.
This won't hurt. Close your eyes. Gone for good. Davy's better off
gone, better off. That's what you promised me. That's what you said.