from 22nd Century Man
Ryan Ridge

My emotions are dry cleaning. I don't have a website. My phone buzzes all the time. There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara. I don't understand horses at all. Small children smell good, especially at the right temperature. I enjoy saying, 'point taken' and 'duly noted.' Although I am sitting here I like to think I stand for something. I love my mother more than the sun. I have hyperactive tendencies, which translates to too much energy. The doorbell never rings, but my ears are ringing. Leave no stone unturned, they say. I don't have eyes. I'm a 22nd Century Man. I'm a woman. Please administer the Turing Test to me. I don't know what to think of Freud. Sometimes I try to scream but terror takes the sound away before I make it. I have no money. I'm listening to Hank Williams. I'm not a mechanic. I'm taken by surprise by the expensiveness of jewelry. I'm open to many unique ideas and philosophies such as yours. When I turn out the lights, I see myself and all that is around me, except that which is behind me. There have been a lot of people who have claimed the world would end, but it hasn't. I have a brand new Brompton bicycle I like to ride. I just learned how to work a computer this morning. Tennis courts are clogged with criminals. I am a socialist. Flags ought to be made of country music. I'm scared of most tree species. My thoughts on underwear are the thoughts of an adolescent scientist, a dreamer if you will. I can't dance. I compromise my means knowing that good is not for myself, good is for the greatest good: for everyone's good. One time I accidentally destroyed the Rebel Alliance. I am not so sure if I would like to eat carrion. I like to be told I'm right. At the dawn of a new millennium. If I'm not talking to people, I'm talking to computers and computers aren't people. The pipes are frozen. My wires are crossed. I have but one sibling, an older sister. Life is beautiful. I am a doctor in my spare time. I can't really count all my friends. I can't really count at all. No one is the greatest quarterback of all time. I am rubber and you are glue. I can't say I am very happy. Happiness is decorum. Decorum is the difference between the empirical and the theoretical. I've never seen an animal lighter on its feet than a fox. I believe there is still humanity left in most of us. I'll get to the legal system later. Hiding in a dark alley, never seen while the sun is up, I am the mysterious and the enigmatic. I will die free because the only chains that exist are in my mind. Sometimes to get to another country you have to cross the sea! Sometimes you must weigh your love versus your career. I wish to be alone. I'd like to disappear. God is on our side streets.

[Note: This piece was generated by posing the questions from Padgett Powell's Interrogative Mood to a trio of internet chatbots: Cleverbot, Brother Jerome, and Sensation Bot respectively.]