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the MFA in hamsters |
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at the table is a moose, a bear, a cow, a hamster all have neutral facial expressions the bear reads its short story the room is small and when the moose moves it makes a hole in the wall and goes through the hole to wyoming, where it lives the cow sits and falls because cows can't sit the bear sits on the cow the cow squirms a little the bear pets the cow's face and the cow stops squirming the cow is afraid the bear scratches the cow's face a little a human comes in 'is this the MFA in hamsters?' the human says the human is nervous and begins to read his short story the bear claws the back of the human's head and the human dies blood gets on the hamster the hamster shakes its body this has been the MFA in hamsters if you like what you have heard please fill out a FAFSA form to determine if you are eligible for financial aid the MFA in hamsters is a two-year residency program which culminates in the submission of a creative thesis with the spirit of an arts colony and the benefits of the research university of which we are a part the MFA in hamsters continues to foster and to celebrate american literature in all its varied forms we look forward to working with you, especially if you are a talented young hamster with cultural and political awareness, an interesting background, and a sort of half-assededly nihilistic worldview that can, ultimately, be interpreted by michiko kakutani, benjamin kunkel, and whoever the current fiction editor of the new yorker is as 'life-affirming,' 'refreshingly optimistic,' and 'free of the crippling irony that plaques much of our younger writers' |
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