Duck Sauce
Mike Topp

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 2008

Today, scattered showers, some gusty winds, mild, high 66. Tonight, rain ending, low 52.

There are people in my building who continually throw the wrong "kind" of trash in the wrong bins. Everyone is upset but no one knows what to do?

Got up this morning at seven.

A great article in the New York Post about how neurotic dogs have become, written by a dog.

Some pizzauges again today for lunch.

It's 9:30 now and at ten Maria is coming over.

Guess I'll go get cleaned up.

(You know, I'm trying to talk about something besides myself but, is this any improvement?)

Went and saw a movie last night. Not gonna tell you which one but I am going tell you that I snuck two beers into the theater and maybe some snacks.


THE PET STORE

A very sad thing happened at the pet store. Debbie, Steve's mother, became very sick and died.


POEM

The woodpecker pecks
and having pecked
moves on.


SEEN ON THE STREET

Chris Evert? No, it's Anne Ellingdon.


BYOB: BREW YOUR OWN BEER: BANG-BANG

1. Go to jail.
2. Make in the stockade under the barracks.
3. Mix potato peelings, canned pineapple syrup, and raisins.
4. Add yeast.
5. Brew in any kind of container you can get for minimum 3 days.
6. Drink in latrine while bragging to others about how tough you are.
7. Conversely, flush resulting slurry down the toilet and forget it.


DUCK SAUCE

IM ALWAYS KIDDING ABT MY WIFE SAYS THE BARTNDR. EVRYTIME I INTRODUCE HER TO ANYBODY THEY SAY 'AREYOU KIDDING?'

MY FATHER WAS NEVER HOME HE WUZ ALWAYS DRINKNG BOOZ. HE SAW A SIGN SAYING DRINK CANADA DRY SO HE WENT UP THER.

A PINK ELEFANT, A GREEN KANGAROO AND TWO YELLOW SNAKS STROLED UPTO THE BAR. YOUR HERE A LITTLE ERLY SAID THE BARTNDR. HE AINT HERE YET.

1996 © 2008