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This morning I told my parents I was submitting to elimae and they turned into clowns who threw me a party. Later that day, after my parents turned back into my parents, they took turns hugging me and whispering in my ear how different my life is going to be. I swept their tears from my shoulder that night and placed them in a box with a circus painting on it. I stole my father's red nose and put that in the box too.
This submission to elimae will make Chelsey Minnis fall in love with me. After she reads this submission to elimae a long row of . . . . . . . will shoot from her eye balls and I'll keep whispering follow them to me as she walks zombie-like from her apartment building.
We'll buy a boat after my submission to elimae and I'll water-ski from the . . . . . . . rope that Chelsey has tied around her hips and to my river-wet hands. As she speeds up I admire the way her hair blows in the breeze and how the . . . . . . . rope snakes back and forth above the water.
I told my friends I couldn't go out this weekend because I was submitting to elimae. They understood. It's just that time in my life to be submitting to elimae.
Sometimes I think my submission to elimae is pointless. I imagine turning over in bed and Chelsey Minnis is an angry feminist with a scrunched up face. She's giving me the double middle finger. I imagine having to fight her off. I imagine pushing her off the bed and down a steep hill. All her . . . . . . .'s would be grass stained.
Maybe elimae is Andre The Giant serving me pie.
This submission to elimae is going to change my life because if I didn't submit to elimae my life would stay exactly the same.
Here I go submitting to elimae. Here I go trying to change my life.
Chelsey and I will be in the . . . . . . . sea we have created. It will be easy to water-ski there. We will spend day and night in the warm . . . . . . . sea air. Some . . . . . . .'s may get stuck in our noses. We will stay happy and we'll keep trying to change our lives by discussing this submission to elimae. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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