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There have been some questions concerning cookie hour which the
following will hopefully clarify: There are now two 'cookie hours,' and
while the phrase fails on a semantic level in both cases, we continue
using it because to introduce new phrases such as 'sadist cookies' or
'the new cookie half hour' would throw is into mass confusion.
The Wednesday cookie hour is the exact cookie hour as formerly on
Thursdays -- in terms of diameter, nut content, and fat saturation.
Everything remains the same, other than our bondage procedures, and the
change from Thursdays to Wednesdays.
There will also be a new cookie hour on Thursdays, hence the confusion.
This cookie hour is the exact time of the sacrifice, which is
intentional. The goal here is to provide cookies for people who attend
the sacrifice. The Wednesday cookie hour is thus relieved from the
psychological baggage (i.e. incentive to eat vs. reluctance to die)
which had a corrosive effect on our colony.
An explanation: two provincial sentiments grew further and further
apart, until it was necessary to appease both parties. The Obeses
believed there was too little time of cookie consumption before the
4:00PM sacrifice, causing people to swallow whole without enjoyment.
They rallied for an increased half hour cookie hour. The Obtuses
dissented against an absurd half hour cookie 'hour,' calling for
separation of cookie hour and sacrifice.
After an executive intervention which involved an unfortunate off-site
sacrifice of a detractor (and a related parking ticket), we now have the
two cookie hours before us. As far as the promised gagging memorandum,
we are still in the research phase.
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